Hope...

Two weeks and counting...Still intense, still rewarding, but now reality is settling in. I'm here at Maiti Nepal 6 days a week, 7 hours a day. When my day ends, I go home, laugh with my family, and try to leave the stories out of my mind until I go back to work the next day. I've realized this is the best way to handle my situation here...just leave the work thoughts and emotions at work, and start a whole new rack of emotions and memories at home.
There are about 200-250 victims here...not all are victims of trafficking...some have run away from home and brought here by the police, some are lost and are here waiting to be found by their family, and some are children of the victims. When walking around by myself, I always try to observe the residents here and imagine what their story could be; and honestly, it's so hard to tell. Maiti Nepal has done such a wonderful job at creating a setting where everyone feels like they are on the same level, and no one belittles anyone, no matter what their history is. They are all given small chores to do, all fed the same food, and all must follow the same rules. The only thing expected from them is to behave properly by following the rules, and either go to school or train yourself to eventually have a career. There is a girl that I have grown to be an acquaintance with...I met her my first day here and she was very quiet and barely looked at me, but the next day she smiled, and slowly started say hi and making small talk. Now, I speak to her almost every time we see each other. We talk about the weather, what I ate, my family and her son. Her son goes to school here and is spoiled by everyone's love. She has told me about how she loves to sing and dance, and often performs at the small programs hosted by the organization. I have heard her sing, she sings beautifully, and she told me recently that she has also started to write her own song....Just like this I have gotten really comfortable with her.
Out of no where one day, when talking to her I felt like I have seen here somewhere but pushed my thoughts aside because maybe I was just having weird deja vu? But you know when you get a certain feeling sometimes and CANT seem to push it aside? Well, that's what happened to me...I could not get her out of my mind, so I asked the Counselor here. To my surprise, I HAD seen her before! Her story was one of the stories included in the documentary done by CNN. I could NOT believe it. When I had heard her story while watching the documentary in the US, I had shook my head in disbelief and wondered how she was still strong enough to live with the memories?!
She had been trafficked twice by the age of 12, had her kidney stolen and sold by an organ seller and had a son. I remember her story through watching the documentary, and she has been through hell and back. When she was a prisoner at the brothel, she was constantly beaten, burned with cigarettes, and they had also poured hot water on her if she refused or argued with the owners/ pimps. Not only were they cruel to her, but their evil extended so far that they were also heartless towards her son. Her 18 month son at that time was kept in a separate building from her, and when he cried, they burned cigarettes on his tongue. I had never thought that one could be so evil and heartless towards a child. He's a toddler for God's sake?! How can you be so heartless to burn a child's tongue?! Because of their cruelty, her son could not speak properly and is so traumatized that he is very afraid to even come close to a stranger. When you think of evil you only think it happens in movies. Evil like Cinderella's step mother or Voldemort in Harry Potter... You never imagine such villains to actually exist and hearing a true story about it really shakes up your world... How does one become so cruel? And it's crazy because some if these real life villains actually have daughters and children of their own? How are they able to burn cigarettes on toddlers and rape 12 year olds when they have their own children?! I believe in Karma, and though my belief is being tested right now, I still have hope for it and I pray to God that these evil, horrible, heartless beings get what they deserve and ten times worse.
I am not sure if the criminals have gotten exactly what they deserved, but the victim and her son have turned their life around. After escaping from the brothel and coming to Maiti Nepal the victim has been able to find the courage with the help from the counseling center in Maiti Nepal and tell her story not only to CNN but also be able to tell an author who turned it into a book about her struggle. Though she maybe well known, she doesn't know it or care about it AT ALL. She is happy to be able to inform other girls about trafficking and maybe save them through her stories, but she is even happier in Maiti Nepal where she has lived for 4 years and is able to sing, and dance and be around people who love her for who she is. She earns a living for herself as a gardener and is always telling me how much she loves knowing that the plants are thriving and beautiful because of her. Her son is also much happier here. He goes for speech therapy and is improving everyday, goes to school, and is always running around and causing trouble with his peers like children should be doing.

Everything I have seen, heard, and experienced here is just unbelievable... It gives me hope, and hopefully everyone else hope not to give up. Don't give up on hope, don't give up in your dreams and don't ever give up on yourself. No matter how bad your day is, remember good will come. Be patient, and don't give up...it will come.

So far I have been in the country for about 9 days have have been
working for about 4 days. If I had to used 1-2 words to describe my
stay so far, it would have to be : Eye Opening.
At home I've taken cold showers expecting warm water to come any
minute, had a cockroach jump on my chest and have probably gained
one pound a day due to everyone's lovely cooking and persistence!haha

        At my internship, Maiti Nepal, I have not only been honored to meet
Ms. Anuradha Koirala, but also her team, who are as much of a hero as
she is.
       My first day here, I worked at the Women Rehabilitation Center (WRC) with girls and
women ages 11-35  who were thirsty to learn. I worked closely with a 13 year old girl who was always
jumping around and smiling brightly. She was so eager and dedicated
that within 3 hours she learned the ABC's, could recite it, sing the
song, AND recognize the letters. I've had great moments in my tiny 21
years, but I can honestly say that I have never felt so proud than I
did at the moment she recited it all to me. Proud of her for being so
smart and dedicated, and proud to have been the one to teach her! Not
only did I quickly get attached to her, but she did to me. She would
hold my hand, twirl around and recite the ABC's just to see me smile. And boy did she make me smile!
       After teaching we all had lunch hour and during that time I went to
the infant ward. There were about 8 infants there and were all so
adorable and fragile. These infants, I found out, were either children
of the trafficked girls, or were unwanted and dropped off at the gate
of Maiti Nepal. Here, at this organization, I quickly witnessed, that
nobody is denied, and there is no sort of discrimination against
anyone with any type of caste. Being overwhelmed by the situation of
these infants and cuteness, I went to the garden and saw the girl I
had taught earlier come running to me. She ran and asked me if I had
seen her little one. At first I thought she was referring to all the
infants as her own, since the girls treat each other's kids like their
own, but no; I found out, that she did in fact has her own child.
This adorable, bubbly, 13 year old had been raped at the age of 12 by
her family member and had run away from home. Maiti Nepal took her in
and helped her give birth to her now, 4 month old son. I could not
believe it, this little girl, who is still a child herself, had a
child of her own.  This little girl who weighs about 70 lbs, this
little girl who has such an adorable bright smile, and this little girl who
just learned her ABC's a few hours earlier had a child of her own?! It
was just unbelievable. I had never imagined that this was her
situation. The Child Protection Center (CPC) takes care and fends for
her son, since she is to young to do so, but she is allowed to see her son, whenever she chooses.
The organization here has created such an environment that if an
outsider who knew nothing about this organization came, they would never guess
what the past of these girls were and just think it's an ordinary
school with dorms for ordinary girls with great lives. They are given
all the facilities, all the resources, and are constantly encouraged
to follow whatever dream they desire. My adorable 13 year old, wants
to be an actress at the moment, and loves to dance, and she is
constantly encouraged by allowing her to take part in small type of
group dances that learn cultural dance and perform in front of small
and large audiences.

Getting there

Currently I'm at Bahrain drinking Arabic frap from Starbucks. I wanted to try and be different but it taste the same as the american caramel frap? Anyways this feels like the longest journey ever and I still have 8 more hours till I touchdown in Nepal. Until now I had just felt like I was saying bye to everyone and going to New York or something for a couple of days....but sitting here drinking my Arabic Frap, it's finally hit me that I AM GOING TO NEPAL!!! Ahhh!
So far I have met a few Nepalis and I am the only one traveling alone...After noticing this, I get a little sense sadness mixed with a bit of pride. Saddness for the obvious reason, cuz I here by myself...talking and mumbling to myself like a crackhead, but pride because i finally feel like I have officially stepped on the first stepping stone to adulthood. Its hard to believe my time has come already to grow up... I feel like it's moving so fast And I'm almost watching myself grow up from afar? Ya? No? Or is it just me going crazy cuz I've been traveling for almost 24 hours and have slept for about 2?
Well, anyways, at the airport here in Bahrain, I met an old friend here and we got to talking about Maiti Nepal... and somehow the conversation steered into love. After talking to him I began thinking about the victims and what their definition of love might be? Have they ever been in love? Have they experienced the same kind of love I have been blessed to experience? Do they even believe in love? To me love is the greatest feeling in the world...is it for them? Or, like my friend asked..."whats love got to do with it?" maybe they don't even emphasize on love the way I do? Their lives and experiences are so different from mine right now that it's so hard for me to even imagine situations in their shoes. I know things will be hard and I'm sure I'll get a culture shock... But i hope by the end of it all I come out stronger and more open minded.